Tell Them What You Want, Before It’s Too Late
You would probably be surprised to know how many people have no idea what preferences their loved ones have for their funeral arrangements, or as to how they want to be looked after should they become incapacitated or receive a diagnosis of a terminal condition.
Is your family/next of kin aware of your wishes?
Do they know what medical treatment you would give your consent to, or not as the case may be?
Have you told them if you would prefer burial or cremation? Maybe you would like to donate your body to science.
What about organ donation?
If they need to access important things online, do they know where your passwords and security information is stored?
Are your insurance documents easily accessible?
There are so many things that would make dealing with your death a lot less complicated and troublesome if only you would plan ahead. There is an awful lot to deal with when a family member or loved one dies, without having to make decisions and search for information.
There are a number of things that you can do in order to make things easier, for example.
· DEATH PLAN / FUTURE CARE PLAN
· ADVANCE DECISION TO REFUSE TREATMENT
· LASTING POWER OF ATTORNEY
· LIFE INSURANCE
· MAKE A WILL
What is a DEATH PLAN?
In a death plan/ future care plan you can make it known to your family and close friends what your wishes are for all things related to your end of life. Of course, the best thing to do is to talk with them to make sure your wishes are known, but it is also a big help to have this all put down in writing.
Let them know how you would like to be treated in your last days. Would you prefer to be at home if it is possible, if not, would you like to be admitted to a hospice or care home should it become difficult to look after and care for yourself.
Is there anyone that you would like to be with you at the end or to spend time with you in your last days? Of course, depending on the manner in which you die this may not be possible, especially in a sudden death, but it is still worth making your wishes known.
If you receive a terminal diagnosis and are likely to spend your last days unable to look after yourself, let them know if there is any particular music or style of music you would like to listen to, or maybe there is a favourite film of programme that you would like to watch, or maybe you would prefer a quiet environment, or to hear the birds singing.
If you would prefer not to have your body preserved or embalmed, make it known in your death plan. The practice of embalming is not necessary in the majority of cases and cannot be used if you are wanting to have a burial in a Green Burial Site.
Let them know what sort of funeral you would like. Would you prefer a traditional burial, a green funeral, or cremation? Perhaps you don’t want any kind of ceremony, or maybe you would want your body to be donated to science for medical research. It is important to share your wishes with those who will be left to make the arrangements.
If you want some sort of ceremony or memorial gathering, write down any music or readings you would like. You may have preferences about who should be there and take part in any ceremony.
Do you want any spiritual or religious input in the proceedings? If you would prefer a humanist or non-religious funeral, let them know.
My own mother was able to plan her entire funeral ceremony during her last days as she knew that she was reaching the end of her life. Planning in this way makes it so much easier for those who are left. It can be really difficult and painful to try to arrange a funeral if the wishes of the deceased are not known, particularly when one is grieving and suffering loss.
When is the best time to write all this down and to talk to your family? NOW. At this moment in time we may not know how or when we are going to die, so don’t leave it too late.
ADVANCE DECISION TO REFUSE TREATMENT
Sometimes called a Living Will, this is a document that you can write stating if there is any particular treatment that you don’t want to receive should you lose the capacity to make your wishes known. For instance, you may not wish to be resuscitated if you are terminally ill, you may not wish to receive any transplanted organs. Many people do not want to receive chemotherapy or radiotherapy for various reasons. I’ve included here a link to an example of an Advance Decision at the end of this blog.
Your Advance Decision should be signed by two witnesses, and need to be specific in the language used. It does not need to be registered with a solicitor, but copies should be given to all relevant people and should be kept safely in an easily accessible place.
LASTING POWER OF ATTORNEY
A Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) is a legal document where someone (while they still have mental capacity) nominates a trusted friend or relative to look after their affairs if they lose mental capacity.
in England and Wales there are actually two types of LPA to consider: one for property and finance, and another for health and welfare. There is more detailed information on the moneysavingexpert.com website. Here is the link to the relevant page - https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/power-of-attorney/
LIFE INSURANCE
Funerals can be expensive occasions (they don’t have to be, but we will look at that in a future blog) and we don’t want to leave our loved ones having to find the money to pay for things. You also need to think about how your death is going to have a lasting financial impact on your family and dependents should you have any. Search around to find the best policy to meet your needs and the needs of your family.
MAKING A WILL
You might not think that making a will is important, but it is something that many people leave doing until it is too late. You can make your own simple will, using the example and template at the end of this blog, which will cost you nothing, or you can have a solicitor to draft your will, but this can prove to be costly but recommended if your will has some complicated and detailed inclusions. Some charities offer a free Will making service, usually in turn for including the charity in your will.
Please contact us at info@theelephantintheroom.online
If you have any questions or require any further information or help.
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